Questions

I believe there is always a reason for someone who dislike going back home, for me its just because of who I am. I hate being out in public, I hate trying to satisfy people, always be caution with what I want to say, constantly thinking about what others would think before My Own Self. Being alone is fun, being alone is fine, cry it all out and just wonder where can this life take me too. Is there a need to be with people who I need to make myself so low that I don't have a life? To be honest, I didnt want to continue living since i was young. Trying to commit suicide is always in my mind, never wanting to live in this life; wanting to be with my Grandmother who loves me like no one else in the world could. No one cares about how I feel, no one cares about my preference, no one cares if I get hurt, no one cares about my dreams. Will anyone care if one day I am no longer here. Will anyone take care of my dad when I'm no longer here. I, Myself is trying to run away from all the pain im enduring doing whatever I feel happy, but no one approves of it. Friends come and go, family members come and go. I only have myself to live and rely on. Can anyone tell me when does this loneliness feeling ends?